I. Family, An Impertinent Institution From The Past - Built It In Order To Destroy Family
I. Family, An Impertinent Institution From The Past
“Ding”, rang the doorbell. Engineer answered and found that it was College Student, his friend’s son. College Student asked Engineer if he could use the phone. He said, “Can I …” but he basically demanded; as fast as the door opened, he stepped into the flat and approached the phone. So, there was really no intention of ‘asking’ on College Student’s part; it was a demand and nothing else. He felt disturbed; he was right in the middle of making a grant plan for his project. Also his flat was rather small and it was not an inviting place, and thus, having a guest here was unlike having one at a large house with a luxurious guesthouse; he was not embarrassed but felt uncomfortable. But this was a minor concern; the most disturbing was that College Student simply did not understand the concept of privacy, formality or courtesy to make a simple call to him before the visitation.
Why did this young man simply ignore courtesy and formality? The answer is simple; he found that Engineer is a member of the extended family since he is a close friend of his father. Perhaps he fundamentally lacks formality; perhaps he also lacks manners. But, the main problem is that the concept of ‘family’ is distorted. To Engineer, the definition of ‘family’ is clear; his blood relatives, in particular, his sibling, parents and grandparents are his family. The definition of ‘friend’ is also rather clear; friend’s friend is not exactly a friend. And family members of ‘friend’ are not exactly friends, either, though they are not total strangers. However, in this city, family members of his friend automatically assume that they are his friends as well AND his properties are shared properties. This is disturbing because this essentially suggests the destruction of private property; this also suggests the destruction of privacy or complete lack of privacy. And these imply the death of individualism or imply that such concept is not understood to begin with. That cannot possibly happen. But how is this tainted definition of ‘family’ created in the first place? The answer is intelligible; this is a dog-eat-dog society and this is how the current popular definition of ‘family’ is created or inherited from the society of the past. Everyone lies to everyone else, everyone cheats on everyone else and everyone loots from everyone else. Therefore, ‘trust’ is an inconceivable concept. And because of that, each family needs to annihilate privacy and individuality within the unit. If two families merge, as a member of one family and a member of another family become close friends or they get married in order to strengthen two families, annihilation of privacy and individuality would extend within the mingled unit. This is a survival mechanism, and it is a necessity in the dog-eat-dog society. But it has to be recognized that, ultimately, it is fundamentally flawed and the mechanism is the antithesis of individualism. It is not a solution but a compromise.
‘Trust’ is something one earns as he/she acts responsibly, loyally and honestly, continuously toward another; but the mechanism of the distorted family simply abandons it for two reasons: First. Practically speaking, trust needs to be assumed so that all members of the family created from two previously different families can start sharing properties immediately and Second. No one acts responsibly, loyally or honestly, continuously toward another in the dog-eat-dog society so ‘trust’ needs to be assumed differently. But can trust be truly earned differently? No. Then, does the mechanism function? Not fully. It is a dramatically accommodated contrivance; inconsiderate unannounced bell ring proceeded by the rudeness and lack of courtesy and formality is a fine example of that. Lying, cheating and looting occur within the family, though probably not all families are so dysfunctional. Basically, the family is an endless cycle of regression AND the gatekeeper to the world of innovation, creativity and human dynamics. This is why Engineer needs to eradiate the family. The family is stifling the entire society; it keeps the dog-eat-dog society as it is. This is the reason why Engineer needs to build the functional sewage in the city.
